Funny Birthday Wishes and Messages
Birthdays are a special time. We all have them. Some of us look forward to them, some of us don’t. For some, it’s a reminder of how old we are getting, but if we look at the brighter side of the coin, we can see it as a celebration: a time to hang out with family and friends and just chill. Let’s look on the bright side and see the many ways that we can wish someone a Happy Birthday. Make it fun and exciting. Something unique. Something no one else would do. Here are some helpful tips for different messages. Share the funniest and most hilarious Happy Birthday wishes with your friends and family and put a big smile on their faces.
100+ Birthday Wishes to Write in a Funny Birthday Card
- On your Birthday, a few wise words: smile while you still have teeth. Enjoy your birthday!
- You realize you are getting older when the candles on your cake are more expensive than the cake itself.
- In the hallway? In the bathroom? On the kitchen table? In front of the chimney? At 40, it is truly remarkable to remember when you left your car keys. Happy Birthday!
- What a fabulous presence! What a remarkable intelligence! What charm, and what beautiful eyes! But, enough about me. Happy Birthday!
- Happy Birthday, my friend. I’m feeling nostalgic, so let’s relive our “glory days” go out and inflict further damage to our livers, shall we? We’re still young, aren’t we, my friend? Now, get your orthopedic shoes on, and let’s dance!
- It’s better to live a short but memorable life than to live for a thousand years. Yet, the way your life has been progressing, you seem to be going for both! Happy Birthday my friend!
- They say that the older you get, the smarter you become. Yet, we still keep on doing the same stupid things we were doing as kids. So I guess we are the exception to that rule. Happy Birthday, pal!
- Time runs out faster than a birthday cake on a candy lovers’ Birthday in this short lifespan. So you have to make sure to enjoy whatever little there is of it left! Happy Birthday!
- You know you are getting old when your lungs are not strong enough to blow all of your birthday candles! Happy Birthday!
- If walking up the stairs to your apartment tonight seems tiring, then you know that this Birthday is the sign that you are getting old. Happy Birthday!
- If reading this message required you to go fetch your glasses, I have sad news. You are old! Happy Birthday!
- Thank god you were good at math when you were young! Because you are going to need amazing addition skills to calculate your age now! Happy Birthday man!
- You should probably enjoy this year’s birthday cake. It may actually be the last one you eat with your own teeth! Happy Birthday!
- Don’t consider the fact you are getting old a bad thing. I mean, how many people have you met that can beat you up with their own walking stick if you insult them? If anything, you’re just cooler than ever before! Happy Birthday!
- I promise not to tell anyone how old you are this year. Since we grew up together, doing that would give away my age, too.
- Happy Birthday, Bestie! This year let’s commit to losing 20 pounds — AFTER the cake, of course!
- Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you. You look like a bestie, and you act like one too!
- Roses are red, oceans are blue, let’s make a best friend trip – the Caribbean will do!
- You look different. Did you lose some weight? Did you change your hairstyle? Did you get a haircut? There is something different about you. Oh, I know. You are one year older!
- For your Birthday, I have been thinking of something grandiose, superb, and impressive. But anyway, I do not cost anything to believe, right?
- I would wish you, “May all your dreams come true,” but I am afraid that, if they do come true, I will have nothing to wish you next year.
- Like good wine, you get better with the years.
- I have been looking everywhere for a decent gift. Still, I found nothing suitable for someone as unique as you, so accept a good thought and my best wishes, accompanied by a sincere “Happy Birthday!”
- Celebrate, or simply take the time for yourself. It is your day, so make the most of it in any way you like. Happy Birthday!
- May today be the happiest day of your life, and may tomorrow be even happier than today!
- The key to staying young is the complete and total denial of the aging process. Besides, if YOU’RE getting older, I must be getting older too, and THAT ain’t happenin’ sista-friend! (Happy Birthday)
- My life is experiencing a severe shortage of FUN these days. What say we paint the town for your Birthday? Yup, that’s us — two friends partying the night away with the “A-listers” for your Birthday! (Let’s at least do PJ’s and a movie).
- People may wish you many things. I only wish you two: never and always. To never be sad, and to always be happy.
- Remember when one of us had a birthday, and we’d party like rock stars? Me neither. Just in case, I’ve talked to your other friends, and they’ve agreed NOT to post your birthday party online. I’ve made no such promise.
- Enjoy every moment, smile, be happy and remember one thing: today is the most special day of the year, so live it to the fullest!
- Did you really think that I forgot about a day as special as your Birthday? I wholeheartedly send this birthday message, and I assure you of my everlasting friendship!
- Do you know someone I should send a Happy Birthday message to, an anniversary, or anything like that? If you know of some parties, let me know, because I have not eaten cake lately and my blood sugar level is starting to drop!
- I wish you that the number of candles decreases every year, while the number of the parties, cakes, and Happy Birthday wishes grow!
- Some people make the world more beautiful just because they are part of it. Happy Birthday!
- You are such a heart-warming, polite, honest, witty, and unique person in this world. Receive my best wishes on your Birthday and these little white lies.
- This message does not contain fat, cholesterol, or additives. It is entirely natural, but it contains much more sugar. However, it could never be nearly as sweet as the person who reads it. Smile, and Happy Birthday!
- I wanted to put candles on the cake, but it is hard to put that many on it, and I ran out of space. Happy Birthday to my favorite person!
- Extraordinary people are rare … I am so lucky I met you! Happy Birthday from the bottom of my heart!
- May you have a healthy year, and because you do not have heat in your house, I wish you a warm Happy Birthday!
- Have a fabulous day today, and remember: you cannot have sex just yet; you will need the energy to blow off your candles.
- Many wishes for a happy birthday. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. But then again, we would need to narrow that down a bit.
- Wishing you a wonderfully memorable day. I bought you a special gift this year….a cane
- I got you something we both would like. Too bad I ate on the way here.
Humorous Birthday Cards
Your Birthday reminds me old the old Chinese scholar YUNG NO MO
SMILE! IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY
OGM! It’s your birthday!
The Funniest Birthday Wishes Ever
- I looked all over for some classy messages, but sadly I turned up with nothing. I guess they know you too well.
- Happy birthday from friends and family. What? You were expecting something else!
- You are how old? No, that can’t be right. You look too good!
- I got you a male stripper, but he can’t come over because he just won’t leave my house.
- You are how old? No, that doesn’t seem right…aren’t you older!
- I picked out your coffin on the way here.
- Isn’t it time you bought the depends now!
- You look good for your age….how much did you pay Satan!
- Happy Special birthday. I guess now we don’t look like twins anymore. I look better!
- God, you are old. Oh well, Happy Birthday
- Don’t worry, my friend…you’re not old until you hear your Dad’s voice coming out of your mouth. Seriously, stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about. Now, eat your birthday cake — there are starving children in China!
- Birthdays are a time of family and friends. Maybe you’ll get some next year.
- I wanted to invite your friends this year, but then I realized they are all mine. Happy B-day anyway.
- Wishing you a special day from your family. We will buy you something next year.
- We wanted to buy you something this year, but our budget wouldn’t allow it. So this card will have to do.
- Turn the card over, and you will find your gift…..sucker!
- Birthdays are a time of togetherness. Don’t worry, you won’t find that here!
- I hate to tell you this, but your wheelchair will arrive tomorrow—happy b-day from your friends and family.
- I got you the ultimate gift…, unfortunately, I fell down the hole down with it.
- Your relatives are all here to wish you a grand celebration. I ordered them from Japan, but they are still here.
- You bypassed my birthday last year, so my present to you is the same in return.
- I would get you a good-looking guy for your birthday, but unfortunately, your neighbor won’t leave his wife.
- Best wishes on your day, better you than me.
- How about I just give you cash, and we call it even?
- I just re-wrapped the gift you got me last year…I hope you don’t mind.
- What do you get the one person who has everything? How about a personality?!
- I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that you look good for your age. That’s what your relatives are for.
- Wishes come and go, but age sticks with you!
- I know you want to turn back the clock. But with the number of years on you, I feel that is not a possibility.
- Your age should be in the Book of Records. And you thought you wouldn’t amount to anything.
- This is a time of sentiment and emotion. Screw that! Let’s party, boy!